Part 2: In which we find some answers

Ok, I'm finally getting around to part two.
Part one is just a short scroll down (or click here you lazy freak).

So I'm sitting there with this spirituality that has become a nagging smelling stack of dishes. Dishes that I plug my nose around, and ignore as best I can...

And I think the 'smelly' part of that analogy is where I'll pick it back up again. Have you ever smelled something that just absolutely made your stomach turn? My first experience with this was while working in the meat department at the grocery store. I was assigned the task of disposing of all the old meat. What you may not know is that old meat is recycled. They used to use it for feed, now it's mainly used as fertilizer. So that makes my job fun. I had to cut open each package, and dump it into a barrel. The cool thing about refrigeration is that it keeps the smell down, generally. There is, however, one thing that reeks beyond all reekage. Rotten Chicken. It's truly puke-worthy folks.

I write all that not to gross you out (ok, maybe a bit), but to get across how very stinky this whole spirituality thing had become to me.

Every time I thought about it, I wanted to puke.

Part of me felt as though I was that guy that Christians like to say 'fell away', I wasn't going to church or participating in my spirituality at all. The other part of me felt free as a bird, thrilled to be rid of restrictions and expectations. I didn't know what to do. Everything around me told me the answers to my questions were in books. Books from the Bible to The Tao of Pooh, books that I couldn't, for the time being, even bear (pun so intended) to pick up. So I went for a long while without doing anything.

Then one day I had a moment. I can't tell you what exactly it was, but it was something rather small. Something small that had a rather large effect. I encountered a situation that...

...stared at me briefly, and with a voice like sand paper spoke...
"All right kid. This way or that way. I don't care which one you take, just do it fast or you get a bullet in the brain pan, squish."
I swallowed hard and flinched...
"That way." I said, fear etched on my forehead.

This tiny little decision had massive implications. I'd been forced decide, and to act on what I believed. Funny thing was, it was an easy choice. And for the next week all I could think about was the fact that I had acted the way I wanted to, and that my action fell firmly in line with the beliefs that I had so seriously been doubting. It wasn't in books, it wasn't in conversations, it wasn't in the horoscope (blech). The answer I needed was in doing what I believed. I suddenly felt like a genie...

PHENOMENAL COSMIC ANSWERS!
Itty Bitty Incident.

Phew, that was a relief. But now what? You're thinking to yourself 'This one little thing can't solve all the problems'. Yeah, you're right, it can't. But it took me back to a starting point, it told me which race I was running in. The rest will come with time, and I can tackle the pieces bit by bit.

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Let's tackle some pieces.

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Ok, first piece, find some people who believe what you do and hang out with them.
This is called fellowship, and it's most commonly done in a setting called church.
So, first piece, find a church. (some other time we'll talk about 'a church' vs. 'the church' and all those fun semantical goodies)

Great, this one's harder than it sounds...
Problem 1: The Social Anxiety Factor. Most people would be surprised at this, but I have some minor issues with 'going places and meeting people', and it doesn't help that I've not had this kind of interaction in half a year. If I actually go, and interact with them, everything usually turns out fine, but I have to get over the hump and do it. And believe me, that can be a big-ass hump sometimes. Things that help? Someone to go with, knowing someone already there, and/or being drug against my will.

... I hate to do this, but it's 1am again, and I have to be in Evergreen at 8.
Stay tuned for part 3...